Happy New Year!

This is the first New Year's Eve in a long time that I feel like celebrating.  I had lovely visits with my sister and my kids over the Christmas break, and now I'm ready to really focus my attentions on ME!  I'm set up to weave again, I'm ready to write again, I'm going to buy myself a keyboard and finally learn to play piano, I'm going to find a local person who can teach me how to work in glass, and I'm going to work hard to get better at the local language.  I plan to travel to the States at least twice this year - and I'm going to lose at least one more size in the next few months - hurrah!  I feel like I finally have the emotional and physical energy to move forward, to be who I am in front of the world without fear or anxiety.  This is nice!   It feels good to be invested in life again instead of just treading water.  Life is good.  Happy New Year, everyone! 

What now??

Everyone's gone for a few hours - I do love having my kids here and my daughter's boyfriend is a lovely, easy guest.  It's been busy - lots of meals to make, things to do, etc., and now I'm here alone for a bit, wondering what it is that I'm supposed to do next.  I've worked and/or taken care of my spouse for the past 12 years and that part of my life is over...  What now???  It's a bit daunting to think about this next chapter - I'm in a foreign country, where I'll have to stay for a good bit now.  I can't afford full-time care for my spouse in the US.  Now at least I'll have time and energy to work on learning the language!  I've always been involved in "helping" professions - I don't think I want to do that anymore...  That sounds awful, but honestly, I'd like to do something now that uses other gifts.  I want to finally do what I want to do - but I don't know what that is!!!  I'm trying to be patient, to give myself time to figure it out, but I want to get going NOW - I feel like I've spent a huge part of my life not taking care of myself, not knowing what I wanted, that I want to get on with it!  Sigh...