The most
crazy-making thing about dysfunctional family roles is their immutability – and
if you leave your role because it was in its nature a sucky role, you’ll be emotionally
beaten up by N’s and their ilk.
Aack! And thus NC came into being…. Honestly, I’m beginning to think that having
relationships with most of my sibs – ANY kind of relationship- might just be
impossible. We’re old and N’s get set
in their ways early – and those who’ve catered to them forever just can’t work
up the courage to start saying NO. The
Nsister who controls the family is a scary person – if you met her, you might think
she is sweet and caring, but upon closer inspection, those of you who know N’s will realize that she
is manipulative, whiny, a martyr to her kids, a gossip, and generally a
witch. She rounds up posse’s to handle
those who aren’t in the “Circle of Power” and conveniently “forgets” the
hateful things she’s done to the outcasts.
Her Protector always believes her, of course, and chastises those who
wander from the herd or “hurt” the Nsister.
I know I’m mixing metaphors all over the
place, but bear with me… So – the N and
her flying monkeys aren’t worth considering relationship with – it can’t happen
if I’m to maintain my sanity… That
leaves the Protectors, who haven’t shown much courage, so if push comes to
shove, I suspect that they MUST honor their roles – not much chance of any sort
of trusting relationship there… One
Nbrother was a secondary GC – nope. And a sister who was a sibling scapegoat
looks remarkably like an N herself – how did that happen??? Often, the scapegoats are the ones who get
out! I’ve tried – and I think the time
has come to stop trying and just accept that I have only one real sibling with
whom I can share my life without having to worry that information is going to
be broadcast in the Nfamily. Sigh. Acceptance is good – there’s really no point
in trying to see something that isn’t there – therein lies madness!!!
