Therein lies madness!

The most crazy-making thing about dysfunctional family roles is their immutability – and if you leave your role because it was in its nature a sucky role, you’ll be emotionally beaten up by N’s and their ilk.  Aack!  And thus NC came into being….  Honestly, I’m beginning to think that having relationships with most of my sibs – ANY kind of relationship- might just be impossible.   We’re old and N’s get set in their ways early – and those who’ve catered to them forever just can’t work up the courage to start saying NO.  The Nsister who controls the family is a scary person – if you met her, you might think she is sweet and caring, but upon closer inspection,  those of you who know N’s will realize that she is manipulative, whiny, a martyr to her kids, a gossip, and generally a witch.  She rounds up posse’s to handle those who aren’t in the “Circle of Power” and conveniently “forgets” the hateful things she’s done to the outcasts.  Her Protector always believes her, of course, and chastises those who wander from the herd or “hurt” the Nsister.  

I know I’m mixing metaphors all over the place, but bear with me…   So – the N and her flying monkeys aren’t worth considering relationship with – it can’t happen if I’m to maintain my sanity…  That leaves the Protectors, who haven’t shown much courage, so if push comes to shove, I suspect that they MUST honor their roles – not much chance of any sort of trusting relationship there…  One Nbrother was a secondary GC – nope. And a sister who was a sibling scapegoat looks remarkably like an N herself – how did that happen???  Often, the scapegoats are the ones who get out!  I’ve tried – and I think the time has come to stop trying and just accept that I have only one real sibling with whom I can share my life without having to worry that information is going to be broadcast in the Nfamily.  Sigh.  Acceptance is good – there’s really no point in trying to see something that isn’t there – therein lies madness!!!