Leaving the Toxic People Behind isn't Enough - alas...

So I really thought that going No Contact with the WWW and her Flying Monkeys would be the best thing since sliced bread -and it has been wonderful, mind you. I'm remarkably less anxious, my brain seems to have been re-activated, I'm getting more organized physically and psychologically, and I'm happier than I've been in a long time. That said, I'm still wondering if there's enough time left for me to grow up emotionally - I feel like I'm so far behind! I feel like I'm in a sort of limbo, waiting for whatever is going to happen next - do I just bull ahead and, as my probably OCD grandmother said, "get to work and..." decide what I'm going to do next or do I wait and see who I really am before taking the next step? I'm tending toward the latter, but of course the Nmother voice in my head is telling me that I'm lazy and that I should be serving someone- I'd really like that voice out of my head permanently and maybe the best way to do that is to focus on ignoring it whenever I hear it...I've spent so little time on my needs and desires that I think I can justify taking some time for myself and trying to figure out who I really am and what I want to do now that I'm free of the toxicity of my FOO. There you have it!