No Forgiveness without Repentence! No Healing without Feeling!

I've been feeling a bit stuck lately - I've made a lot of intellectual progress in understanding malignant narcissism (Nfather) and plain vanilla narcissism (Nmother), but I don't feel like I'm making a lot of progress emotionally. I feel like I'm still emotionally flat. Soooooo I went to a seminar entitled "Emotional Enlightment". Now, most of you know me well and know that I normally avoid this type of event like the plague. And I probably should have this time as well but I thought it might help to unstick me emotionally. I did learn some things, but on the whole it was not helpful. The day started with a narcissist sitting beside me and telling me that she reads quantum physics and that she would like to be become enlightened enough to re-arrange the atoms in her body so that she can walk though walls - and she had thought this was possible when she first learned about atoms in the 8th grade! Also, she wasn't at the seminar for help - she just wanted to expand her community since there are so few people who want to discuss quantum physics and spiritual issues. I moved. Another narcissist attempted to dominate the conversation with all of her various concerns and all of her former attempts at self-help. I avoided eye contact. The basic premise of the day appeared to be to convince us that we had to re-think our memories and realize that the people who had harmed us were themselves harmed as children and that their abuse had nothing to do with us. We were then encouraged to think about past generations of our abusers and to visualize them as healed while tapping parts of our bodies and visualizing the past generations as tapping their bodies - it felt a bit like the Mormon baptism of the dead.. We were told that we had just healed these past generations and that we could also visualize present and future generations and heal them as well. I took issue with the concept of memories being merely opinions or perceptions and also the idea that false memories can also be healed since they are also opinions or perceptions. This equation of reality with perception seems to be prevalent in our culture and I was in a group that appeared to accept this concept readily. I understand that our perceptions of the same event may be significantly different, but to say that no reality exists and that whatever makes its way into our head is the equivalent of reality just doesn't square with my beliefs. It feels a bit narcissistic, doesn't it? I also didn't agree with the premise that Nmother's and Nfather's abuse was the fault of their parents. Yes, I realize that there were HUGE issues in both families and that neither of them received the nurturing they needed, but I don't see that as giving them a pass to abuse their own kids. Lots of people raised by narcissists and other abusers made choices about raising their own kids that didn't include emotional and physical abuse, so they, too, could have made those choices. It's sort of like the idea of forgiving narcissists who have made our lives hell when they haven't even remotely asked for forgiveness nor acknowledged any blame for what they did! Silliness... And lastly, I don't agree that I have to forgive my abusers in order to get better myself. I felt like this was a shortcut offered to avoid the messiness of remembering what I went through and working through the pain in order to get to the point where I am finished with narcissism forever. I need to feel the anger that I should have been allowed to feel as a child - I don't need one more system telling me that what I'm feeling is wrong or that my anger is standing in the way of my getting emotionally better. My intuition, to which I am now listening, is telling me that I have to cry, yell, scream, laugh, sing and dance my way into healing - so that's what I'm going to do!