Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries

When I think about boundaries, I always think about the realty slogan:  Location, location, location!For those us raised by Nparents who continue to deal with Nsiblings, it's Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries!  It's absolutely amazing to me on a daily basis how little protection I've provided for myself throughout most of my life - and yes, I know that I was conditioned since infancy to leave myself wide open for the benefit of narcissists and their ilk.  And I'm learning - I have much better boundaries than I've ever had in my life - but there's more work to do and I wonder if, like Frost's wall, they will always need repair.  I imagine that's so....

 I started with "Hmmmmmm" when someone said something that made me want to grab them and shake them - it gave me time to think, kept my mouth closed, and normally stopped the other person from continuing.  But now that I no longer feel it necessary to keep my mouth closed, it's less useful.  It does still give me a moment to think, which I still need often when someone crosses every boundary I've erected.  But now I have more "one-liners" to use - I wonder why you would say that to me; How very rude; Why in the world do you think you need to know that?; That's none of your damn business; That's information I share only with my dearest loved ones.  None of this is for use with WWW and her Flying Monkeys - silence is my boundary with them.  This is for the Border People, those people I have not chosen to trust completely, those siblings who may well use information provided them to provide Nsupply to the WWW and her Flying Monkeys.  Border people include others who abuse me or betray my trust.  Why did I believe that I had to be completely honest with people I can't really trust?  What a strange non-boundary. 

So what I have so far is this - High, solid brick and mortar walls for the WWW and the Flying Monkeys; High stone walls for the Border People - if they show themselves worthy, one level of stones can be removed but kept close at hand in case it needs to be replaced; Lower stone walls for the trusted siblings and true friends so that we can talk over them, hug each other and help each other while not invading each other's identity.

"Something there is that does not love a wall" suddenly sounds ominous!!