NFOOS are truly horrible places to have been raised. Just when you need them most, N's and their ilk disappear or appear in the guise of abuser or some other role that isn't what you need at all. What, for instance, would a person need if they've just had to put their 15-year-old dog down? Let's make this a little quiz. Find the N responses - and also the responses of truly loving siblings.
What to do when a sibling's very old and very loved dog dies:
a. Respond on Facebook with(((((Hugs)))))). Follow up with an ecard that says((((((Hugs))))))).
b. Call and express your sadness and talk about the dog in loving terms; follow up with emails during the following week, asking how your sib is doing.
c. Write an email expressing your sadness "that this happened to you' and then write extensively about how your son's dog died while you were taking care of him and how overwhelmingly sad you feel and you can't stop crying.
d. Write a number of emails, telling stories about the dog and asking how your sib is doing.
And the really awful sibs don't even know this happened because I'm No Contact with them. I'm really thinking I may have to restrict contact with more of my sibs... AACK. I've learned not to expect a lot from most of my siblings, but honestly... It's a good thing I started with a lot of them because they're dropping like flies as I figure out how to live my life without all the nonsense associated with this character disorder. I'm really down to 2 brothers and 2 sisters (one of whom is a wonderful and caring sister-in-law). But it still makes me sad...
When I told my NM my darling cat had died she said, "You and your stupid bloody animals." But then, when I called and said my husband died, she said, "Good, now you can come and see us more often."
ReplyDeleteThanks for the love and support, mum!
Ah, so you know what it's like. When I was growing up, we had lots of dogs - sequentially - and when a loved animal died, we were told that "It was just an animal" as if that was the last word and crying was scoffed at. As a child, I spent a lot of time crying quietly so as not to burden people with my sorrow. I'm so sorry that your family responded so callouslly when you told them that your husband diied My God, how heartless a response!! There are almost no words for the emotional savagery of narcissists - it's too bad that the breaking heart can't be described adequately.
Delete