Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Giant Step
Well, I've taken the plunge - this is now a public blog. Caliban's sister encouraged me, and I think that it's time to be out there. I read through all the blog posts, adding updates when I thought they were necessary. This is a huge step for me - growing up in a ridiculously dysfunctional family meant that there was a No Talk rule that was strictly enforced. (I'm sure most of you can relate.) There was absolutely no privacy at all in the NFOO - letters were read (out-going and in-coming), diaries were considered public property, rooms were searched. All communication was monitored - we were Soviet Russia in microcosm. What an absurd way to live. Breaking the No Talk rule was a serious offense and was dealt with harshly - gaslighting, rage, beatings, the whole works. So this is a giant step forward, getting rid of the fear of speaking out, the fear of punishment at the hands of N's - no longer beatings, but character assassination, gossip, lies, and general craziness. Whew! One giant step for Pearl!
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Go you!
ReplyDeleteGracias! Unfounded fear has affected my life for too long - it's good to let it go.
ReplyDeleteyes indeed. Go you! I recall my deep fear of my FOO discovering my blog. I don't think they have,
ReplyDeletebut it's my right to express myself, and all identities are disguised. There would be much rage at me if they found it, and if my sisters found it I have NO doubt they'd put my parents onto it (instead of learning something from it). But too bad! I'll never forget my youngest sister commanding me to "filter" my words dealing with my mother, out of concern for her blood pressure. My plagiarizing promise-breaking habitually lying mother. Well, consider my anonymous blog my filter. Filter this! Hah! Proud of you for coming back out here. Anyone bullies you online, well hell, we've been through that ringer already. Bullies, you have no power here. Begone, before somebody drops a house on you too!
Without your encouragement, I wouldn't have done this - I re-read the entire blog before I did and and found at least 2 references that I was NEVER going to open the blog. So thanks! It's past time for an open and honest discussion of narcissism - with names changed so that honesty is possible.
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