Red-haired stepchild

So, have I mentioned that I feel like God's red-haired stepchild?  First I get 2 flaming narcissists as parents, people so self-absorbed and so phenomenally obsessed with each other that the numerous children they brought into the world were mere white noise in their lives.  Then I marry a passive-aggressive in an attempt to NOT marry a narcissist - aack.  Thankfully, many wonderful people have also entered my life - 2 delightful children, now adults; good friends who keep in touch and don't judge me for placing my spouse in a nursing home when the dementia/passive-aggressive one-two punch threatened to overwhelm me; and a wonderful sibling who's walked me through this discovery process over the past few years.

I want a do-over!  I want real parents, people who put their children's welfare ahead of their own.  I want to have known in my teens what I know now. I want to go back and choose a spouse who had the capacity to have a loving, intimate relationship with me.  I want all those hours wasted on "working" on relationships back.  I want to plan my life again, knowing that my thoughts, feelings, and needs are valid and should be considered when making life decisions.  I realize this anger is belated, but it's still valid - I want a sit-down with God about what He/She was thinking...