Sunday, December 21, 2014

What now??

Everyone's gone for a few hours - I do love having my kids here and my daughter's boyfriend is a lovely, easy guest.  It's been busy - lots of meals to make, things to do, etc., and now I'm here alone for a bit, wondering what it is that I'm supposed to do next.  I've worked and/or taken care of my spouse for the past 12 years and that part of my life is over...  What now???  It's a bit daunting to think about this next chapter - I'm in a foreign country, where I'll have to stay for a good bit now.  I can't afford full-time care for my spouse in the US.  Now at least I'll have time and energy to work on learning the language!  I've always been involved in "helping" professions - I don't think I want to do that anymore...  That sounds awful, but honestly, I'd like to do something now that uses other gifts.  I want to finally do what I want to do - but I don't know what that is!!!  I'm trying to be patient, to give myself time to figure it out, but I want to get going NOW - I feel like I've spent a huge part of my life not taking care of myself, not knowing what I wanted, that I want to get on with it!  Sigh...  
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3 comments:

  1. Calibans SisterDecember 22, 2014 at 5:34 AM

    Hi Pearl, I completely get that you've done your time in the "helping" professions, both in work and in your domestic life. You're also an artist. If you can find ways to concentrate more on that, it might help you figure out what's next. It can indeed be daunting. I too wish I could change tracks now; but I can't, really afford to, so for the time being I"m trying to find other ways to think about it. Even though you're going through an unstable time, it's a freeing one and that can only be to the good. xo CS

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    1. PearlDecember 22, 2014 at 5:55 AM

      Thanks, CS - I think that after Christmas, I'm going to concentrate on finishing up a book I wrote a while ago - and weaving. I also want to play with glass - people here do some absolutely wonderful things with glass... I think "playing" may be the mode I use to discover what I want to do. I've never been able to afford to switch, either - this one was forced on me, and I'm grateful!!!

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    2. Calibans SisterDecember 27, 2014 at 6:03 AM

      yes indeed. And take that and run with it. Learning how to blow glass, that would be amazing. It's an extraordinary art. Laborious, potentially dangerous, must be done fast; but you can make amazing things!

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