Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Failure to Properly Greet

"Failure to properly greet" the WWW and her Flying Monkeys was the crux of the issue when Danielle, my LD and I went to be with my mother while she was dying.  After driving 7 hours, staying overnight on a friend's apartment floor, flying halfway across the country, and then driving an additional 5 hours, we apparently did not greet family members with sufficient enthusiasm and thus the attacks began. This is so unbelievably common in my NFOO - stressful situation, let scapegoats make one "mistake" and then take them down.  Never, ever, ever, ever going to any sort of "family event" ever again - ever, ever, ever. Danielle and I are not going to Richard's wedding - we're meeting him and his new wife in a country close to where I live.  It'll be a one-day let's get together and celebrate your wedding kind of thing -  and so it goes in the NFOO!
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4 comments:

  1. KaraAugust 7, 2014 at 6:28 AM

    Wow! "Failure to properly greet"?? That really takes the biscuit. :P Talk about scraping the barrel to find something to complain about...

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    Replies
    1. PearlAugust 7, 2014 at 7:25 AM

      Yeah, it doesn't take much in this group - get offended, round up a posse, and ride! I'm grateful, though, that this was too hard to miss even for someone raised to be supply. This was the final straw, the straw that broke the camel's back, the last hurrah. I'm done. It's taken me a long time to realize that the word "family" doesn't include me - it's about what I can do to help "poor WWW" and her Flying Monkeys - they have so many needs and my role was simply to recognize those needs and fulfill them. Like the raven, I'm saying, "Nevermore!"

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  2. AnonymousAugust 9, 2014 at 8:03 PM

    Oh shit. This brought up a lot of memories. I completely understand. They do scrape the bottom of the barrel to punish, castigate, etc. I remember my mother criticizing me for 'head nodding' at my father's funeral. The bitch was still trying to control me, at 42 for my 'annoying behaivor' at his funeral. Saying I was making a spectacle of myself.

    You can NEVER win with the Narcissist Tribe. You have to either grit your teeth and be an invisible robot, but still you will draw their slings and arrows.

    I will never be again in the presence of this rotten Nfamily. Let the mother-bitch die, and I still won't be there to look into her coffin. I might spit in it.

    There is so much cruelty done to others by the Nfoos that the only way we can preserve ourselves is to distance ourselves physically and emotionally.

    But I am still sorry that you have experienced this petty narcissistic behavior.

    Jane

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  3. PearlAugust 11, 2014 at 12:30 PM

    Thanks - it was pretty abysmal being at that event - and honestly, I'm content to never be in the presence of the WWW and her Flying Monkeys ever again. Rethinking family is difficult at this age, but there really is no other option - the dance continues whether I'm there or not, but I've decided that I no longer want to witness it - or hear anything about it. I'm sooooooooo done.

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