Change is hard

I think one of the hardest things about getting healthier emotionally is looking at all my "old" relationships and realizing how many of them involve me doing most of the work.  I've decided to NOT initiate contact with old friends to see how long it will take for them to contact me.  Looking backwards, I'm appalled at how many "friends" respond to my emails and messages, but rarely initiate.  This is sooooo much a reflection of my NFOO - if I wanted contact, I had to make the first move.  So many of the relationships in my life have been MY responsibility - I've spent way too much time "working on" relationships of all kinds - enough!   I'd happily live as a hermit rather than keep friendships that don't nurture me.