A great soul passed, and she knew what all this felt like. Lovely words. I hope, Pearl, that you'll open your blog for more readers. You're a lovely writer, and have much to share. Just a thought. love CS
You are kind - at some point, I'll open the blog. Right now, I'm just really focused on boundaries and taking care of myself emotionally - my NFOO has been so horrific that I'm not willing to risk the deluge of craziness that will erupt when they discover that I've let the cat out of the bag big time! I'm hoping that this last betrayal has truly finished it for me - I think it has, but I want to make sure that I'm emotionally finished and no longer need or want anything from them. I've never really guarded myself emotionally, so this is new territory for me - it feels wonderful most of the time, but I'm sometimes still tempted to play around with my old role - to put my toe across the line into enemy territory. Familiarity is a temptress and I want to make sure that I'm past all that before I open myself up to the NFOO's hypnotic seductions - ah, to be accepted, even by crazy people, is such a draw.
I understand. I feared that my FOO would find Caliban's Sisters, but so far so good. And I think even if they did, at this point I could probably live with it since nowhere are there any names. Plausible deniability! But yes, write for yourself first and the few others who know you are still here. love CS
A great soul passed, and she knew what all this felt like. Lovely words. I hope, Pearl, that you'll open your blog for more readers. You're a lovely writer, and have much to share. Just a thought. love CS
ReplyDeleteYou are kind - at some point, I'll open the blog. Right now, I'm just really focused on boundaries and taking care of myself emotionally - my NFOO has been so horrific that I'm not willing to risk the deluge of craziness that will erupt when they discover that I've let the cat out of the bag big time! I'm hoping that this last betrayal has truly finished it for me - I think it has, but I want to make sure that I'm emotionally finished and no longer need or want anything from them. I've never really guarded myself emotionally, so this is new territory for me - it feels wonderful most of the time, but I'm sometimes still tempted to play around with my old role - to put my toe across the line into enemy territory. Familiarity is a temptress and I want to make sure that I'm past all that before I open myself up to the NFOO's hypnotic seductions - ah, to be accepted, even by crazy people, is such a draw.
ReplyDeleteI understand. I feared that my FOO would find Caliban's Sisters, but so far so good. And I think even if they did, at this point I could probably live with it since nowhere are there any names. Plausible deniability! But yes, write for yourself first and the few others who know you are still here. love CS
ReplyDelete