Sunday, February 26, 2012

Joy cometh...


I can’t believe that it’s been 2 months since my mother died and the Three Weird Sisters made life so unbearable for the Ousted.  The healing is slow, but the freedom of being able to move through life without that craziness is helping the process along.  It’s amazing how many of us there are out there – I’m beginning to think that narcissism is a much more prevalent problem than most mental health practitioners believe, probably because they rarely show up in counseling and when they do, they’re such victims that the counselors don’t see it – they work on self-image and assertiveness!   No more assertiveness training for narcissists!!  Please, people!!!  They don’t need any help standing up for themselves – or believing that they’re the center of the universe!

After a lot of crying, crying, and more crying, I’m feeling ready to move on to the next phase of this, whatever that phase is.  Crying felt good for the first time in my life – it felt productive and healing and cleansing and I let myself do it, something I’ve resisted most of my life.  (If one is born to serve, tears are a dreadful inconvenience to those around them.  What?  I have to wait until you finish blubbering??)  I’m sure crying will be a part of the next phase, but hopefully not SO BIG a part of it.   I feel hopeful for the first time in a long time – hopeful that the rest of my life will be free of narcissistic drama, hopeful that my loving siblings and I will continue to get together in safe, stress-free gatherings where we will talk about our lives and our children and our grandchildren, where laughter will be open and easy and not at someone else’s expense.  Oh, my, life without narcissism will be a joy!  (OK, I’m not Pollyana and I know there will be stress and conflict, but without the narcissism angle, it still looks like heaven!) 
















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