Winkies Make Me Sad

I found this on another blog and went to the original source, which is www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com.  The article is entitled "Immunizing Yourself against Narcissistic Verbal Attacks."  I encourage you to read the entire article (the site is listed on the panel at the right since I follow this blog by Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.), but here is the part I was especially interested in, since it so succinctly describes flying monkeys:

Don't be surprised at the number of people who follow and are true believers of narcissists. They crave being a member of the inner circle even if they are infrequently thrown crumbs or are honored to kiss the ring of the anointed.They have thrown away their identities, strapped themselves to the narcissist for the E ticket ride. They will do anything to be identified with this person. They believe that he or she is a good human being because of outside trappings and the wielding of power over others.

Wow - that's an excellent description of the FM's in my life, especially the part about being willing to do anything to be identified with this person.  Anything.  Really.  Anything.  I think I really do get this now - anything.

More bothersome to me is this paragraph - I really do have the first part about the narcissist - it's the part about the Winkies that makes me sad...

If you have a narcissistic parent you have been through the wars of childhood and prevailed. I am not downplaying the horrendous suffering you have been through. It is incalculable. It often occurs into adulthood. When you know that your parent(s) is a narcissist you have a number of decisions to make. You can control your contact with them despite their protestations and accusations and their spreading gossip and lies about your character. Anyone who doesn't see through these machinations is not going to be someone whom you can rely on or trust. Sometimes good people are fooled by these cunning method actors. Sometimes relatives who took the bait, see the truth and turn around. But you cannot wait for what they might do.

I have two siblings who fit into the category of Winkies - those who protect the WWW and her FM's.  Neither of them can see what the Three Weird Sisters do to those who have been Ousted - in fact, the Main Winkie, my eldest sister, accuses us of lying when the WWW's fabrication differs from what we truthfully say happened.  (This is done without checking with the Ousted One about what happened - WWW is believed without any evidence at all, which his how she's managed to oust people from the family so efficiently.)  The other Winkie has had a trauma bond with one of the FM's since childhood - when I suggested to him years ago that this FM is seriously depressed and that perhaps he should talk to her since she might listen to him, he was surprised even though it was common knowledge in the family - this FM's depression is ever so evident.  He's a little obtuse generally and spent the time at our mother's deathbed consoling the always hysterical WWW and her FM's.  I would HATE to lose these relationships - really hate it.  But I'm beginning to see that the whole purpose of being a Winkie is to keep the status quo and to make sure that you are not a target.  Since information is traded like gold in our FOO, I'm really concerned that the WWW and flying monkeys will get information through the Winkies - information that I no long want them to be privy to...  This makes me want to cry...