Wednesday, October 24, 2012
The Truth did set me free!!!
Boundaries are such amazing things - who knew? It's so good to know "my place" in the world - not in a put-yourself-down-and-who-do-you-think-you-are? kind of way, but in a good way - I belong here, I live here, I like it here and I'm going to share my life with people who love me or at least like me a lot! I'm NC with my Nsiblings and I no longer feel that I have to have anything to do with mean people of any sort, narcissists or not. This is HUGE for me! My people pleasing tendencies, ingrained since probably the day after I was born (Nmother was probably too drugged to manage my training any earlier than that!), are disappearing. I don't care if most of the world likes me or not, I don't want nasty people to like me or to have anything to do with me, and I'm very happy to spend a lot of time alone - all of these things are relatively new to me. I really don't care what my Nsiblings are saying about me, I don't care what the nasty bloggers are saying about me - it has nothing to do with me and I'm glad to be NC with the nasty people of the world! Life would have been sooooooo much easier had I known this sooner, but now that I know, I'm free!!! The Truth DID make me free - hurrah!!!
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Boundaries are miraculous things. We get to decide how much hurt to let in, and let out. I'm happy that you are feeling so much freer. There's been a real shut down in the ACoN "community" after the shark feeding frenzy (on my carcass) of the last week. The thing is....I grow back. But others might not feel that way. It hurt watching my words get twisted beyond all recognition and to suffer the bricks of slander flung at me. But they sounded like crazed angry teenagers, and there's no room for that in my life.
ReplyDeleteHi Toto, it's me again, just saying good evening. It's been two days since I went private with RC, and what a freeing feeling. I can exhale ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, each time I open my blog I know I'll have conversations with some intelligent new friends who want to learn how things work with their FOOs and mostly how to clear out leftover introjects and crap. I definitely let the bully crew JADE me. No more. No more flying, or blogging monkeys, for me. g'night!
ReplyDeleteLove it - I was finding it hard to process amidst the histrionics - 3 of my Nsisters are histrionic, so it triggers all kinds of stuff for me, none of it good. I'm glad that you're relieved - it is a breath of fresh air to be away from Nnonsense. Breathe deeply!!!
DeleteAhhhhhhh. I'm not sorry I left RC open, including the comments, for as long as I did. I learned a lot about how bullying looks in the blogosphere. Being a newbie (started in July, really), I had no idea there would be so much variation between ACoNs. I truly thought that people who were figuring out what their FOOs did to them would never turn on their own and do the same things. But I also learned that people blog for different reasons. My post on RC was still "open" when I wrote it, so I pulled punches. I'm going to revisit it in another post later. One thing is clear to me: those who go private with their blogs are not looking to assemble a "flock." The ferocity surrounding Upsi was all about the tightness of a "flock"--and a perceived "leader." It was cultish. Glad to be "out."
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