Accepting Reality

It's taken a while of NC with the 3 Weird Sisters to give me enough breathing room to see reality.  (Not that the 3 were ever in contact with me regularly - only when they needed a supply fix or when they needed a scapegoat or when they thought I might join one of their posses to oust another sibling.)  But just knowing that I can answer the phone, check my email, and check my regular mail without having to worry about being blindsided has been a true blessing.  The Main Winkie knows that I'm not in contact with any of the 3 and she has said that she will honor this (I don't believe that this promise will last indefinitely, but being on a different continent helps a lot).  I'm very careful what I tell her about my life, since I assume she's already doing some "sharing" of information.  Information in my NFOO is like gold - let the whispering, slandering, lies, and gossip begin!

So - the reality is that in leaving the 3 behind, I may well lose some additional siblings - the Winkies inhabit the borderlands, the places between, but their loyalty is really to the Weird Ones.  Main Winkie sees her job as keeping us all together - it feels a bit like foster children seem to feel about having to be kept together to keep the family "intact."  As if "intact" was ever a word that could have described us.  Now that the Nparents are dead, this seems to have become even more important to MW.  As if somehow there is safety in numbers, security in being "together" - when in reality, that very closeness has allowed the WWW and her Flying Monkeys to access enough information to do some real damage.  Closeness is dangerous to the Ousted.  Closeness is dangerous.   Period.  W2 is treated in the family like a little boy - the diminutive of his name is still used and there's a dismissive tone used when he expresses a view contrary to the view of the 3 and the MW.  The man is in his mid-50's and is in law enforcement, but in NFOO, he's still a very cute child.  He sees his role as one of comforting and caring for the histrionics in the family - which is good, because he's poised to marry one.  I've realized lately that I hear from him only when he has trouble in his life and needs to talk - otherwise, there is silence. 

Eventually, the Weird Ones will demand that sides be chosen - I am already being accused of this, so I imagine that means that they're positioning themselves.  I've said repeatedly that I don't need people to choose sides - we're not, after all, in Jr. High and this isn't in any way, shape, or form a "team."  The border people can have relationships with whomever they choose - but they are to keep ME and MINE out of those relationships.  I already know that I have to be extremely careful about giving the border people information about my life - gold is in such short supply these days!!  I know that the lies, gossip, and slander will continue even without me feeding it, but I still don't want them to have any new information.  At W2's wedding, I imagine that there will be high drama when I don't speak with them or (shocking!) hug them - so that we can all look to the rest of the world like loving siblings...  Ah, well - W2 will comfort WWW and her Flying Monkeys, MW will scold and lecture me and protect the Weird Ones, I will be the evil one, and life will go on as it always has....  Reality can be so ugly.