Sickness as weakness

When I was growing up, I had horrific allergies -  Nfather didn't "believe" in allergies (as if it were some sort of faith experience) and poo-pooed the idea that my constant runny nose, hacking cough, sneezing, and throat-clearing were allergies but were instead somehow evidence of bad character instead of a reaction to the world around me.  Later, as an adult, I got myself tested - when the allergist came back into the room, he was looking at the results of the scratch tests and shaking his head.  When I asked what was wrong, he said that he'd never had anyone allergic to the "control" before!  (It turned out it was a grass that grew only on an island  where I had spent a couple of years, so it did make sense that I'd developed an allergy to it...)  So I got treatment and felt better.  A couple of years later, I found out that Nfather's mother had had asthma! 

My NFOO is so odd about illness - people are "blamed" for their illness unless the person with the illness is WWW, her Flying Monkeys, or the Silent Partner - they all have illnesses that are not their fault.  When I was sick as a child (I once had measles and mumps at the same time ), I was put in a room and pretty much left alone so as not to contaminate the other siblings.  There was no comfort, no story reading, no cool cloth on feverish forehead - only complaints that I was taking too much time.

 Even as an adolescent, any illness was treated as an inconvenience to Nmother.  One was supposed to suck it up and go on!  Between my sophomore and junior year of college, I developed abdominal pain and called my eldest sibling, who took me to the hospital.  I couldn't walk upright and when the blood work came back, my sister's eyes widened remarkably - she was a med tech - and she got a panicky look that I'd never seen on her face.  Scarey.  It turned out to be an ovarian cyst that ruptured, but Nmother and Nfather never showed up - I was in the hospital for 2 days 45 minutes from where they lived - and nothing.  Who were these people and where were my REAL parents?  Who doesn't show up when their kid is in the hospital and the doctors aren't sure what's going on? 

Because of all this, there was little communication among siblings about some things that would have been helpful to know about - I have 2 siblings with severe allergies, 1 sibling survived anorexia (although I think she's been in danger a few times), 1 sibling had anorexia, 1 sibling had colon cancer, 1 sibling has Graves disease, 1 sibling had a blood clot burst in a lung, a couple siblings have had menstrual issues and difficult conceiving, 2 sibs have fibromyalgia - and the list goes on!   But most of this is not common knowledge - it's too dangerous to talk about medical issues because if you do, you'll be BLAMED for them. Better to just keep quiet than to become a target.  Ah, the legacy continues!!!