Christmas peace

There's such a sense of peace about my life now - that doesn't mean that I'm not going to refill my prescription for my anxiety medication, though!!!  It is holiday season and for most of us ACoN's, it's a dangerous time - there's so much pressure to have had a happy family, to have  had happy Christmases, to feel like a part of something like a family.  Why is that?  Too many Hallmark cards?  Too many pictures of smiling children?  Too many sappy movies with ridiculously happy endings?  Most Bible scholars believe that Christ was born in the spring and originally, his birthday wasn't celebrated - and when it was, it was timed to coincide with another holiday - and who doesn't need a wonderful holiday in the midst of winter?  (Well, at least in some parts of the world!)  Christmas was always such a bitter-sweet holiday for me - there was a lot of stress in the NFOO at the holidays - lots of pressure to have the perfect holiday, to bake the best cookies, to choose the best presents, to have the happiest Christmas ever, to wrap the presents most imaginatively, good grief!   Trimming the Christmas tree (once you didn't believve in Santa Claus) was unbeliveably stressful - Nfather "supervised" and if tinsel didn't hang straight enough or if small ornaments were put in the wrong place or if someone looked like they were having too much fun - disaster!  It usually started out well and ended in - disaster.  I remember sitting on the couch after everyone had gone to bed, looking at the Christmas tree and feeling so sad - sad that what was supposed to be a lovely holiday always ended up with people feeling bad about themselves. 

I tried to make Christmas less stressful for my kids, but I was pretty strung out about Christmas when they were little - we did Christmas Eve at the in-laws and Christmas Day with Nparents - and then we'd escape into the North Woods for a week of NO NFOO!  If was so lovely - we'd cross-country ski, sled, skate and generally have a great time - we'd have frozen the Thanksgiving leftovers and that's what we ate - no pressure!  So the "real" Christmas, the relaxing family time, came after the actual holiday.  I do love spending time with my husband and my kids during the holidays - -and now that NFOO is out of the picture, it'll be lovely - I'll get to see most of the sibs I want to see - unfortunately, I won't get to see my son and his girlfriend - and we'll have fun together without Nnonsense.  The way holidays SHOULD  be!